“The lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”


Ho, ho, ho!

It’s that time of year, once again, when people spend money they can ill-afford on presents that people really don’t want anyway. The not-so, hilarious, festive socks, the eternally humorous knitted sweater and let’s not forget the cheeky inflatable doll – just for laughs you understand? Oh, the joy, the fun of the family get-together, the sparkling snow that lay all around, crisp and deep and even. BAH HUMBUG! The snow is brown slush, if it fell at all, the sweater is an abomination, the socks don’t fit and a certain dolly has sprung a leak. Some of us were content to be at work for the entire, money-sucking, commercial event. That’s not to say I didn’t spread the good cheer here at home as, with a little one present, the effort has to be made before they realise that Christmas is a complete farce and Santa (St Nicholas) is not only the patron saint of children, he is also the patron saint of Sailors, Archers, Merchants, Repentant Thieves and, to top it all, Prostitutes! I did my bit for the greater good and splashed out on some festive treats (you may notice the tree is extremely similar to that we displayed on the beach last Xmas?).

Seasons Greetings!

Season’s Greetings!

It’s not the same anyway, Christmas in the sunshine and most of the indigenous population having other beliefs that leave the shops bereft of tinsel and paper chain decorations. Still, Christmas isn’t Christmas without a Mr Kipling’s Deep Filled Mince Pie, is it? I had two of them. The remainder were probably consumed by the rest of the family or the army of termites/ants that we share our living space with. Suffice to say, they were exceedingly good (the power of advertising!).

All in all, not much happened and we were content with this because, we decided we would do something adventurous next year with the money we would have spent on presents that people really don’t want…..

With no turkey twizzlers, no brussel-sprouts, no yule log and certainly no alcohol, we made ourselves content with a home-made construction which should look like a ginger-bread house.

Go on, take a piece...

Go on, take a piece…

Clearly inedible, it served no other purpose than to entertain the makers for an hour or two. Santa, delicious as he may look, is actually plasticine and the goodies are cemented to rock hard walls. A sterling effort on behalf of the catering team but no marks for a satisfying treat.

It wasn’t all fun and games mind you. Some of us were working and will continue to do so until the New Year.

Here’s hoping that you all received everything that you wished for.

Happy Holidays and a very Happy New Year to one and all.

Speak again in 2014,



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